|“||In the market for a monster, Big D?”|
|— N.M.E. Sales Guy • Kirby: Right Back at Ya!|
The N.M.E. Sales Guy, often referred to as Customer Service, is the secondary antagonist in Kirby: Right Back At Ya!, and is spokesperson and salesman of Nightmare Enterprises. He is voiced by Dan Green in the English dub of the anime, and by Banjō Ginga in the Japanese version. The N.M.E. Sales Guy arguably holds the second most important role in the company, and is responsible for bringing in the money. He treats his boss, Nightmare, with utmost loyalty and respect.
The N.M.E. Sales Guy sells monsters to King Dedede, and makes the company a tidy sum in the process. He understands the capabilities of each of the monsters the company owns, and knows which would be right for each job. Quite commonly, he helps Dedede come up with plots to defeat Kirby.
The N.M.E. Sales Guy is always available around the clock to serve the company's clients, but King Dedede once called him during his lunch break. He occasionally refuses Dedede's requests due to his unpaid bills. He (or Nightmare) even sends a ghost in one episode to collect his due.
Even when he sends something either King Dedede or Escargoon orders that's meant to be a nice present for Kirby, he always disguises it as a nice gift. In reality, it always has a monster inside to get rid of Kirby. One example is in Kirby Takes the Cake when he sends a cake to Kirby but inside is Denjaa or D'Preciation Day when he sent a Jack-in-the-Box that was actually a Chuckie. Escargoon also knows this when he ordered a heart chip for his Escar-droid. While it made it unable to attack at first, the buttons on the shell were made to attack Kirby.
In the original Japanese version of the show, the N.M.E. Sales Guy is very polite. In the 4Kids dub, however, the N.M.E. Sales Guy is brash and manipulative, and speaks in the manner of a stereotypical used car dealer. He is highly successful in manipulating King Dedede to maximize the profits of the company, but King Dedede never sees through this, and believes that they are mutually trustworthy of each other. Escargoon, on the other hand, knows it and tries his best to make King Dedede reconsider, but his efforts are always in vain. In one case, however, Escargoon buys from the company for his own selfish desires.
Eventually, during the final attack on Nightmare Enterprises, Dedede and Escargoon arrived at the N.M.E. Sales Guy's office, and upon discovering his actual appearance, have Chef Kawasaki prepare food for them so Dedede could stuff the food down his throat, knowing the food tasted terrible as revenge in Fright to the Finish. After hearing that Kirby had beaten Nightmare, he fled and his fate is unknown, although it is possible he was destroyed when the fortress was blown up, as he was not shown to warp to safety with the heroes (supported by the fact that in the Japanese version, he can be heard screaming during the explosion). Dedede also tries to call him with a phone he gave him, but it simply fuzzed away.
When the N.M.E. Sales Guy is seen, it is almost always on the large monitor in Dedede's castle, and his image is visible from chest up. He appears to be a very tall person, but he is actually very short. His facial features bear great resemblance to the company's overseer, Nightmare. He has a large chin, purple hair with green stripes, and always wears a pair of black-framed, orange-lensed sunglasses (he wears a pair of red-framed, blue-lensed ones in Abusement Park). The rest of his attire never changes - he dresses smartly with a navy blue suit and a lavender tie, but he changes out into an orange set of traditional Japanese attire in The Kirby Quiz to celebrate the new year.
Despite the fact that his eyes are always obscured by the sunglasses and only the upper part of his body is visible, the rest of his face is highly expressive, especially his brows, and he tends to gesture with his hands a lot or straighten his glasses when he wishes to emphasize something important.
In all actuality, according to the finale, the N.M.E. Sales Guy is simply really short and squat, having no legs and has big, round feet similar to those of Kirby (along with those of many other characters in the Kirby series).
- Although he was seen eating lunch in Dedede's Raw Deal, he reveals that NME employees aren't allowed to eat when he finally makes a real appearance in front of Dedede, although this may be another one of his many bluffs just to deter Dedede from using the kitchen facilities. Then again, he may have purposefully been eating lunch in front of Dedede just so he could sell the sushi restaurant components to Dedede.
- The N.M.E. Sales Guy is not the only salesperson at NME. This is revealed when he tries to become the employee of the month in Something to Sneeze At.
- He makes a surprise appearance in the Strato Patrol EOS sub-game in Kirby Mass Attack, along with a revised Holy Nightmare logo (in the US version, the logo is plastered over, as done in the 4Kids dub).
- In the Japanese version of the anime, the N.M.E. Sales Guy and eNeMeE share the same voice actor, Banjō Ginga.
- The N.M.E. Sales Guy is sometimes seen using a large abacus with a digital display to calculate the astronomical costs of his services. Though it is a very ancient calculating tool, the abacus is still widely used in Japan today, where it is known as a soroban.